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Hi friends! How is going? I hope you are healthy and fine. I'm so sorry for everything that just happened. I didn't write this blog for so long. I have struggles week to week, now still. But, I hope I'm okay because I want to write to you.
I'm going to write a little about my current struggle.
I have my worst past that nearly my life constantly. I was mad and blamed myself. I know Jesus is with me. He will never abandon me, He loves me unconditionally. So, yeah, that is really tough. But, I'm grateful because I have some friends who keep contacting me even though we are in different countries. I'm alone here and nobody that I feel gets closer with. I met my colleague and went to the house of prayer. We suddenly were asked to join the worship at the prayer room with the community church that where was camping at that place. I didn't know who they were and she told me that they were from the Bethel church, Prambanan, which is 10 miles east of downtown. Even though, we came to the house of prayer privately as we took off day. So, yeah, I felt God is so good at work and try contacting me again.
I love spending Deaf friends, I got the best memory of spending with two Deaf Americans who visited Yogyakarta and we went to an Italian restaurant for dinner and Deaf time (Deaf time, the culture where we spend just hanging out without knowing when we will go home or saying goodbye). We used ASL (American Sign Language) that I learned in 2020 with my best Deaf teacher who is from South Carolina. I loved that so much! I can't forget how special was that I want more. Then, back to the hearing world, it feels boring because no one knows sign language which makes us get separate but equal. That is how I pray that I could be spending with Deaf foreigners who know Jesus and going to the Deaf church where is full sign language-spoken at worship, whether hearing people who know sign language and have a deeper love for the Deaf community.
Spending the Deaf friends that feels like gets a second home, like, "Oh that is new home and yeah, that is my home now." It brings back to the real home that I have been looking for. Back to the hearing world, I always feel like I'm a foreign person at the community who does not know sign language. That is a massive problem for me.
So, yeah, this is my current struggle about a lifelong friendship. I believe that Deaf and hearing people will never get a long friendship, except hearing people who know sign language and depth-feeling love with the Deaf community. Deaf people usually only attend in the hearing community who doesn't know sign language with a "close hearing friend" who knows sign language growing up.
I have my friend who is hearing who knows sign language but we do not have get closer with, because we do not grow up at the same time and the language that he signs is seem still learning, which takes long to get closer each other. Deaf people that "very" do not like texting because it is exhausting and just wasting of time. That is such how do I feel that.
So, that makes me get to need more effort to get closer with the hearing community, but I think I do not have to because I have Jesus, the only one I am trying to get closer with. Sometimes, yeah, I do not pray as often but my mind is in Him whom Jesus I believe in, still.
Well, I think it is quite enough for me in sharing the current feeling. I have an announcement for you. Are you ready? I hope you are ready!
This blog will become the final writing, which is temporary, and will caught on the right time to be back writing. I need some time to rest and find the right thing that I don't know when will be. I hope you are in wait up patiently to read upcoming writing! In well honored, I say thankful for you that willing to read and love my thoughts that you have been longtime reading on this blog. I hope this blog inspires you to love more with Jesus because God is love that you need to know more. So, thank you very much!
I promise that I will not leave you and will be back writing soon! I will be for you! That's not good bye but see you again!
God bless you!
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